Half A World Away

And so we still survive you John.

Somebody asked me how I feel now that you are gone; I guess anticipating that I must have accepted your demise by now.

The answer is simple - the same! You are still dead and we are still waiting, to see if in some way you will ever return to us.

It is true to say that the legacy you left is great and all encompassing. We talk about you often and think about you more so; all for one thing: - to fill the void, to bridge the gap, to circumvent the abyss.

As they all told us, things are easier, life is easier. The struggle for control has in some way diminished, because in the end, our own sense of survival has guided us to the point where we can function again, on a daily basis; making the right noises, interjecting, interrupting, concurring, dissenting, assenting - all the interactions of life are there in place again. There is though, one thing missing: you dear man.

I want to tell you that the loss doesn't lessen, it takes its place in your psyche and reminds you now and again to think about the man who went before us and before his time.

In cliched style, I can tell you that there is not a day goes by when I don't think of you and all that you were and all that you gave us; and all that you took away.
And I doubt that will ever change.

Your death and you have changed me. I am not the same girl. I am not the same person. Difficult to articulate, let me tell you.

Sometimes I think I walk with a dead man.

Who isn't coming back.

Ever.